meeting you was like reading a book. every perfect adjective so strategically placed in the outline of a mirror. every line tasted like my own saliva, and felt like the skin on my very own bones. you as your own author, evil wizard.
how did you know what i wanted to hear? am i that obvious? do my wants and needs burst out of my pores like the untamable volcano?
what was your plan, evil wizard?
your steaming hands lead me to the rabbit hole and lured me in.
i didn't fall, i walked. i disregarded every warning and kept walking. walking walking
cautiously, yet heart frolicking in hand.
the trees went as high as my vision could reach. the crashing sound of currents rising and falling found me through the cracks of the trunks that offered comfort in its appropriately nurturing way. the branches stripped me of my clothes and bathed me in its sweet nectar.
now as i lay drenched in your black magic, i start to sink into the pool of hearts that you've captured with trickery.
you are a master mind,
a composer of emotions.
of the symphony that dictates my intuition.
heartily, you strung every chord and played every string to its perfection.
i thought once that the plan need not be accurate so long as it shows the disposition of the heart. yet, the unintended plan of a beautiful heart could lead to a dead end with no solution.
but as truth comes to light, so did the sun in hole you've captured me in.
darkness sheds as does the lies you've fed to me with a wooden spoon.
how many cracks can a heart hold before it breaks and is no longer useful?
when one must endure as much as this silly heart has, mutation occurs. every crack is sealed with concrete. concrete that weighs it down but keeps it together. a stone heart. unbreakable, unlovable, un treatable i shall become.
you no longer deserve my words or space on my blog.
this heart of stone will keep your initials as a reminder of the cold world that never forgives, never accepts, never partakes. as a reminder that i am indeed alone and should learn to love it that way. one soul, one body, one mind. anything outside is merely entertainment-visitors not residents.
how much control do i really have? they say the mind can do it all but so far, this brain is undoubtedly connected to my stone useless heart.
wavering, lingering, waiting for something good.
"...forget a love which didn't work as all love finally doesn't work..." - Charles Bukowski
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